Loving the Hard Cases

We all have them: people in our lives who are hard to love.
And don't we wish they'd either disappear or change into easier personalities.
Of course, ignoring them is not the answer and neither is harassing them with advice on charisma renovation. If we cannot change them, can we change ourselves?

It's been so humbling to realize that I cannot even do that--change myself. I'm a record-keeper. I make lists of movies I watch, books I read, people I have over for dinner. (Seriously.) So I tried to make a list of the efforts I made toward loving the hard cases in my life...and it turned into a tally sheet just to make myself feel better. But I wasn't loving them--not like God wanted me to. So what's the answer?

Lately, I've been learning so much about faith and how living beyond what is normal and comfortable (but right) is the best way to live. To love with compassion and longsuffering that resembles the love of Christ is abnormal--it is not of this world. It strains your heart and stomps on your pride. It is proactive, not reactive. It is unconditional and lasting. But even if I want this kind of love, how do I 'get it'?

Just like with the other fruit, this Christ-like love comes by being filled with the Holy Spirit. When He fills us, love just overflows from our being, speaks and doesn't speak at appropriate times, and--yes--stretches compassion to those at our furthest reach. With the Lord's help, it's not only possible, it's a guarantee.

Colossians 3:12-16 speak about the qualities of one chosen by God, and Paul talks about how a Christian can invite the Spirit's filling of love. (All emphases following are mine.)

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which you indeed were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

There are a number of commands here, yet these struck me as most pertinent:
~Let Christ's peace rule in your heart
~Let the word of Christ richly dwell in you
~Sing with thankfulness in your hearts

Irritation: solved. I have Christ's peace.
Excuses: challenged. I have the word of Christ in me.
Complaints: overruled. I have so much given me by God.

And I suddenly realize that my heart had been stiffened by my selfishness. And the hard case had truly been me.