February 29
It's not a holiday, but it sure does surface some memories for me--not for the day itself but for the year it symbolizes. Leap year means two things for Americans: Olympics and presidential elections. But for me, it means it's been four years since I became a mom.
I carried Mika through the opening ceremonies in Beijing--while relocating from Thailand to Hawaii at seven months pregnant. There was controversy over the age of Chinese gymnasts in competition because of their increased agility and teeny bodies. I thought about the tumbling little one inside of me, feeling her little hands and feet, experiencing her strength firsthand through kicks to my organs.
I gave birth to Mika in Hawaii in the summer of 2008. When she was one day old, and I was relaxing in the luxury of an American private hospital room, Senator McCain announced his Vice-Presidential running mate, Sarah Palin. While the country responded with either grins or growls, I had both emotions too--but for the pain and joy of childbirth and lack of sleep.
Now, four years later, I have two children and am pregnant with my third. I am much changed and have seen the worst side of myself, which emerges when pressured with stressful, self-sacrificing situations. I have learned to appreciate and value the everyday moments with my family and to breathe through the difficult ones. As we approach two incredible world events again, I am reminded of the potential in my children for excellence. The Olympics highlight physical discipline and the elections determine political influence. While I don't plan to train any of my three kids for a specific career, I need to prepare them to be excellent in what they choose to do.
As I realize what's emphasized in the Bible and how to live a life pleasing to God, I am humbled to know that these truths are taught by example more so than by instruction. Four years ago, I wondered how to be a good mom. Now, I am still overcome by the massive responsibility but with a different perspective. It's not the diaper changing, feeding, wakeful nights, potty training, discipline, and endless attacks on my patience anymore...for those are all reachable goals. I see the perfection expected by God as the example to my children and know now that I can only do this job while fully reliant on Him.
I wonder what new insights I will have by the next leap year!
