Bothersome because...
- To take lessons either in a class or with a tutor involves both time and money. I believe it is a worthwhile investment, and I've considered/attempted a few methods of learning. I worked with a personal tutor for a few months; she came to my apartment and helped me with common phrases that I still use when out in my neighborhood. I taught myself to read and write with workbooks. I intended to take Korean classes this year; however, my pregnancy and a few other events prevented me from attending the first month of meetings. And now as I near childbirth and a new routine, I admit I'm discouraged that I still cannot carry a conversation in Korean, and it seems it will be a while before I am able to attempt learning it again.
- While I do live in Korea, most of my interactions here are with English-speaking people. Mark teaches at an international school. Our church is made up of Korean-Americans. The playgroup at which I volunteer is English-based. My Bible studies are taught in English. I believe some people can exist in Seoul and not know a single word in Korean. We are picking up some vocabulary and trying to speak what we know, but the pressure to learn the language is not heavy since we can live and minister well even without it.
Convicting because...
- People try to speak to me every time that I go out into my neighborhood. I know it's because my children are so young and adorable! I wish I could tell them more than my kids' ages. I wish I could talk to them and start to get to know people who recognize us by our double stroller: the kind woman in the stationery store, the workers in the bakery, the friendly man in the 1000won store (like a dollar store), etc.
- Mark and I made huge efforts to learn Thai when we lived in Bangkok. I wish we could devote the same amount of time and energy toward learning Korean. But we didn't have kids in Thailand: our evenings were free, and our minds were not distracted by their constant dependence.
- We don't know how long we will be here. We are open to stay or go, as the Holy Spirit leads us. Therefore, we may be in Seoul for a long time, and we should begin now to learn the language of the country that welcomes us to live, work, and minister here.
So I don't know the language, and I want to know the language. But I feel God has calmed me regarding this desire. He reminds me that my priority is my family. Mika, Coby, and our coming baby girl need me home, and they need me focused. I rest my efforts now, knowing that I will try again when things settle down to a new normal with three children...sometime next school year. I embrace what opportunities I do have here--in English--and thank God for the friends (both foreign and Korean) that surround us and support us.
