The Difference between Hope and Want

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a feeling of trust
Want: a desire for something; a lack or deficiency of something

I use these interchangeably, and now I'm wondering if maybe I shouldn't. For what do I hope, and what do I want?

I could make a (choose the right word) quiz for myself to figure this out:

Hope or Want
1. that my children know Jesus (h)
2. that I look as good as my grandma when I'm 92 (w)
3. that the weather stays warmer (w)
4. that my husband's sickness goes away quickly (w)
5. that I can lose weight before my sister's wedding (w)
6. that I can be a good wife and mother (h)
7. that I can learn Korean phrases and speak to my neighbors (w)

Hmmm...it seems like my answers reflect this:
Hope is a desire of the heart, aligned with truth and promises.
Want is a yearning of my mind or body, birthed in insecurity.

I hope that my children know Jesus. I look at the Scriptures and see the power of discipling your own kids as commanded in the Torah and exemplified in Timothy's mother and grandmother. I teach them with the hope that they will see Jesus in all the Bible stories as well as in my life and my husband's.

I want to look good, be comfortable and healthy, and find success. However, these should not and cannot be put above the hopes guaranteed in the Bible's promises. When it becomes more important for me to get in a workout than to attend to my son's needs, there is a problem. When I become more attached to the feeling of safety than attuned to the voice of the Holy Spirit, there is a problem. When I start living my life according to my wants rather than my hopes, I will become a problem.

{My list above also shows me that it's much easier for me to come up with wants than hopes. I guess that means my mind dwells more on wavering, earthbound desires rather than truths from the Bible. I definitely need to work on that.}

So what then are my hopes? I see now I can rephrase that to this: "What are God's promises?" Here are three:

I hope to please God with my choices and with my life's direction.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope for courage.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" 2 Timothy 1:7

I hope for peace in me and in my family.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7

God's promises span all things that really matter. Therefore, I must hope for things that have true significance.

And my wants? I need to look at them and identify what insecurity makes me crave such things. Why do I want to look so good now and at 92? Well, it's because I don't want others to think I'm an unkempt housewife or halfway in the grave. It's because I'm vain and have the wrong perspective on physical beauty. It's because I'm childish.

Why do I want good health for me and my family? Hm, that's probably because I'm afraid of facing the difficulties of sickness, but I need to trust that God gives us trials for our good. He might allow sickness that would actually strengthen us all, and I shouldn't prefer convenience over growth.

Wants are natural, but I must hold them loosely. I must be ready to let them go at any time.

And tonight's question, which spurred this whole post: Why do I want so fervently for my daughter to learn to read before she enters kindergarten? The answer is that I'm afraid. I'm afraid she will fall behind her classmates or be teased or be frustrated. I'm scared that I've made the wrong choice to send her to school. And this fear is wrong because it's based on speculation and worry. It's a want--a very strong want--that may end up damaging our relationship.

What do I hope for my daughter?
Jesus.
And in Him grace, love, identity, compassion, joy, and peace.
But does my little girl know that this is my hope for her?
Do I put my hope above my want?

I will now.



{This post is part of a conversation on "hope" at Velvet Ashes.}
Here is a longer list of God's promises that I found helpful.